Inside Tracks #27: "Love or Let Me Be Lonely": Friends of Distinction, 1970 w/ Covers by Paul Davis, Merry Clayton, Maxine Nightingale
They're insistent, and sometimes persistent. "Love or Let Me Be Lonely": A stand-out in the canon of "ultimatum" songs joins The Spinners' "Love or Leave" from 1975.
The Insistent “Ultimatum” Song
The “ultimatum” song has a long history in pop, rock, and R&B, and “these kids today” aren’t about to have love go back to something that used to be a choice for your chosen paramour:
31-year-old British pop singer, Sam Smith recently had a “Love Me More” (I guess the “or else” is understood), and fellow Brit, 29-year-old R&B singer, Ella Mai threatened “Love me like your life depends upon it” (Does it really? Should it?) in her 2018 “Love Me Like That.”
Even Toronto-born pop singer, The Weeknd (33), reeked of pathetic desperation in ‘22, with his “How Do I Make You Love Me?” with all the casual élan of Googling an available plumber.
Heads or Tails
The Spinners, though, as if to set the pace, had “Love or Leave” in 1975. It got to #36 on the U.S. pop charts, and #8 on the R&B. It was written by veteran songwriters, Philadelphians Bruce Hawes and Charles Simmons, and Virginian, Joseph Jefferson (brother of R&B singer, Major Harris).
In fact, the trio was responsible for three of the 8 songs on the Spinners’ Pick of the Litter album from that year. The album’s producer, arranger, and conductor, the late, great Thom Bell, tapped the songwriting trio to be exclusive writers for The Spinners.
Pick of the Litter became the Spinners’ highest placing album on the U.S. Billboard 200, reaching number eight; however, it was the group’s first Atlantic Records album (after five in just over two years) to miss the top of the R&B albums chart, peaking at number two.
So love or leave
Get yourself together, baby
(Love or leave)
You may never get another chance.
A Softer Directive: “Love or Let Me Be Lonely”
But, another smooth, pop-friendly R&B “ultimatum” song hit the charts five years before “Love or Leave”: “Love or Let Me Be Lonely” by The Friends of Distinction. They made their mark the year before with their Top 5 “Grazing in the Grass” single. Another “FD” group, The Fifth Dimension, travelled in the same mixed-gender, harmony-pop circle as The Friends.
Their lineage and musical family (and the circa 1965 B&W photo below) help drive that point home: The Friends of Distinction were formed in L.A. in 1968 with original members Floyd Butler (1937–1990), Harry Elston (85), Jessica Cleaves (1948–2014), and Barbara Jean Love (82). Charlene Gibson temporarily replaced Love in the group (so the latter could take maternity leave) just prior to recording “Love or Let Me Be Lonely,” and their third album, Real Friends:
The Friends of Distinction were discovered by Football Hall of Famer, the Cleveland Browns’ Jim Brown (who also managed the Friends, and reportedly discovered Earth, Wind & Fire), and were signed to RCA Records.
Butler and Elston (pictured below second from right) had worked together in The Hi-Fi’s in the mid ‘60s, often opening for Ray Charles (pictured below holding white-sleeved 45). Other members of the Hi-Fi’s were Lamont McLemore (shown far left, below) and Marilyn McCoo (next to him, second from left), who would later co-found The Fifth Dimension.
Related:
“Love or Let Me Be Lonely” was written by another songwriting trio, Skip Scarborough, Jerry Peters (who also arranged the vocals), and Anita Porée (it was she who likely wrote the lyrics, her forte).
If you’re used to reading the credits to the decade-of-the-‘70s Columbia Records’ Earth, Wind & Fire hits, you’ll recognize the Scarborough name. He wrote or co-wrote at least five EWF songs in as many years.
But, you’re more likely to know his songs from other artists: Bill Withers and Scarborough wrote 1977’s “Lovely Day” (given a marvelous Brazilian feel and tempo on this 2014 Withers/Studio Rio Version). That song peaked at #30 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the US in early 1978, and it also made the Top 10 in the UK. In 1988, Anita Baker had a hit with Scarborough’s “Giving You the Best That I Got” (co-written with Baker and Randy Holland…rarely does a song so perfectly fit a singer).
Born in 1944 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Scarborough (who passed away in 2003 at 58), landed this, his first hit, with The Friends of Distinction on RCA, released in February 1970.
The song (arranged and conducted by Perry Botkin, Jr., and produced by Ray Cork, Jr.) was a multi-format success, peaking in the Top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100 at #6 on May 1, 1970, and at #13 on the R&B chart. On the Adult Contemporary (AC or MOR) singles chart, “Love or Let Me Be Lonely” went to #9. The song is ranked as the 63rd biggest hit of 1970.
Curious Tale o’ the Tape
“Love or Let Me Be Lonely” has been laid down onto reel-to-reel only 8 times (seven covers following The Friends of Distinction’s first recording). All eight were recorded within the song’s first decade (the last in 1981), and all but two were sung by ladies (counting the lead by Friends’ Charlene Gibson)! Three of those covers were recorded before 1970 ended, with the exact order tough to decipher. And, of particular note, two of those three were in foreign languages!
First, sung in French, by Bulgarian-French singer/actress, Sylvie Vartan, now 79, recorded in September 1970 (translated into French by Gilles Thibaut):
Vartan has been married to a couple of rock-solid husbands over the years: From 1965-1980, Johnny Hallyday was her hubby. He died at 74 in December 2017, but history holds him as being the rock and pop singer/actor that brought rock’n’roll to France. During a career spanning 57 years, Hallyday released 79 albums and sold more than 110 million records worldwide, mainly in the French-speaking world, making him one of the best-selling artists in the world.
He remained relatively unknown in the English-speaking world, where he was known as two things: “The biggest rock star you’ve never heard of” and “the French Elvis.”
In 1984, Vartan married Tony Scotti, now 83, and the founder (in 1974) with his brother, Ben, of Scotti Bros. Records (their first distribution deal was with Atlantic Records, through 1982).
Early roster artists included teen-pop actor/singers, Scott Baio and Leif Garrett, and eventually, Scotti Bros. signed Tony and Sylvie’s singing son, David Hallyday! They later helped launch the careers of L.A. new-wave band, Felony, Jim Peterik’s Survivor (“Eye of the Tiger”), and “Weird Al” Yankovic, who was signed to Scotti Bros.’ Rock’n’Roll Records affiliate banner.
Waxing Spanky, with a Smooth Finnish
The only other foreign language cover of “Love or Let Me Be Lonely” is in Finnish, and sung by Kristian aka Bengt Vilhelm Huhta:
Still in 1970, Philadelphia native, Spanky Wilson, then 23, delivered a far more soulful, down’n’dirty version for a label called Mothers Records & The Snarf Company (from her album Let It Be; yes, she covers The Beatles’ song released mere weeks before):
Family Affair
Giving Wilson a run for her soulful money (and stretching the melody to brave new heights) was Merry Clayton with her October 1971 offering (co-writer Jerry Peters arranged). Merry’s second, self-titled album was recorded and produced at the same A&M Studios with the same producer (Lou Adler), and on the same label (Ode/A&M Records) where Carole King recorded her award-winning, landmark Tapestry album just months before.
Related: About 4 years later, Carole attended an exclusive, invitation-only Rock’n’Roll Bar-B-Q, that not only featured fellow attendees, Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, and Stevie Wonder (and a couple others), but FR&B’s own Stephen Michael Schwartz, who gives us the behind-the-scenes low-down from that 1975 party at Hollywood’s Sunset Sound:
Merry, now 74, was already a first-call session singer by this time (having provided the chilling vocal counterpoint to Mick Jagger on the Stones’ 1969 “Gimme Shelter” and others), and provided her services to Carole and her Tapestry. Ms. King was more than happy to play piano on Merry’s sessions, and arrange a couple tracks. Clayton’s new husband, Curtis Amy, played sax. They were married until his death in 2002:
Released only in her home country, Australian Judy Stone recorded a cover on her In a Field of Stone album in 1974, followed three years later by UK native, Maxine Nightingale’s turn. True to form for 1977 (and just off her #2 disco hit, “Right Back Where We Started From”), it’s a serviceable disco treatment, but far less bombastic than it might’ve been, say, just a year hence, when disco exploded and hemorrhaged:
Finally, November 1981 saw Paul Davis (on his Arista Records debut) caress and massage the song in his usually tasteful way: He co-produced with Ed Seay, and the duo added such creative touches as the unique opening “bell-pealing” by the back-up singers (Ed and Paul, with Benny Rappa and Carol Veto), and the effective use of reverb throughout…with a modulation (YouTube audio video available: click here):
Excellent deep dive into two soul classics! Read it or else...
I’m gonna need a lot more time with this to listen to all the versions, but, as always, you dig deeper than any shovel or excavator can reach! Yes, I’m calling you a big tool! I had no idea about the Jim Brown/EWF connection! Live and Learn is the rule of the day at FR&BS!