Inside Tracks #27: "Love or Let Me Be Lonely": Friends of Distinction, 1970 w/ Covers by Paul Davis, Merry Clayton, Maxine Nightingale
They're insistent, and sometimes persistent. "Love or Let Me Be Lonely": A stand-out in the canon of "ultimatum" songs joins The Spinners' "Love or Leave" from 1975.
The Insistent “Ultimatum” Song
The “ultimatum” song has a long history in pop, rock, and R&B, and “these kids today” aren’t about to have love go back to something that used to be a choice for your chosen paramour:
31-year-old British pop singer, Sam Smith recently had a “Love Me More” (I guess the “or else” is understood), and fellow Brit, 29-year-old R&B singer, Ella Mai threatened “Love me like your life depends upon it” (Does it really? Should it?) in her 2018 “Love Me Like That.”
Even Toronto-born pop singer, The Weeknd (33), reeked of pathetic desperation in ‘22, with his “How Do I Make You Love Me?” with all the casual élan of Googling an available plumber.
Heads or Tails
The Spinners, though, as if to set the pace, had “Love or Leave” in 1975. It got to #36 on the U.S. pop charts, and #8 on the R&B. It was written by veteran songwriters, Philadelphians Bruce Hawes and Charles Simmons, and Virginian, Joseph Jefferson (brother of R&B singer, Major Harris).
In fact, the trio was responsible for three of the 8 songs on the Spinners’ Pick of the Litter album from that year. The album’s producer, arranger, and conductor, the late, great Thom Bell, tapped the songwriting trio to be exclusive writers for The Spinners.
Pick of the Litter became the Spinners’ highest placing album on the U.S. Billboard 200, reaching number eight; however, it was the group’s first Atlantic Records album (after five in just over two years) to miss the top of the R&B albums chart, peaking at number two.
So love or leave
Get yourself together, baby
(Love or leave)
You may never get another chance.
A Softer Directive: “Love or Let Me Be Lonely”
But, another smooth, pop-friendly R&B “ultimatum” song hit the charts five years before “Love or Leave”: “Love or Let Me Be Lonely” by The Friends of Distinction. They made their mark the year before with their Top 5 “Grazing in the Grass” single. Another “FD” group, The Fifth Dimension, travelled in the same mixed-gender, harmony-pop circle as The Friends.
Their lineage and musical family (and the circa 1965 B&W photo below) help drive that point home: The Friends of Distinction were formed in L.A. in 1968 with original members Floyd Butler (1937–1990), Harry Elston (85), Jessica Cleaves (1948–2014), and Barbara Jean Love (82). Charlene Gibson temporarily replaced Love in the group (so the latter could take maternity leave) just prior to recording “Love or Let Me Be Lonely,” and their third album, Real Friends:
The Friends of Distinction were discovered by Football Hall of Famer, the Cleveland Browns’ Jim Brown (who also managed the Friends, and reportedly discovered Earth, Wind & Fire), and were signed to RCA Records.
Butler and Elston (pictured below second from right) had worked together in The Hi-Fi’s in the mid ‘60s, often opening for Ray Charles (pictured below holding white-sleeved 45). Other members of the Hi-Fi’s were Lamont McLemore (shown far left, below) and Marilyn McCoo (next to him, second from left), who would later co-found The Fifth Dimension.
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