The Nic of Time #4: Boy George & Culture Club: The Japanese Whisky Advert, 1983

They say never meet your heroes. Fine. Point taken. Could this be the day when Nic says, "Never meet famous people who have sold a lot of records, and this is the day you have to work with them"?🤷‍♂️

“The Nic of Time”: Periodic short excerpts edited and “carefully adorned” from the original essays by early-’80’s Trident Studios/London assistant engineer,

🅝🅘🅒 🅑🅡🅘🅢🅒🅞🅔🖋🎸🎵🎥🎙, from his The Song’s the Thing! on Substack.

In our last episode, we had a peek into the studio when Nic worked with legendary Bowie producer, Tony Visconti in 1983:

The Nic of Time #3: Producer Tony Visconti, 1983: "Just Another Day at the Office"

---

That was either a most peculiar dream, or our hero woke up next to Diana Ross, who’s now frantically searching for her wig.

Today, I can tell by Nic’s open datebook it’s a Thursday, later in 1983:

Nic, stifling a yawn, begins the story: On this day, I was more like thirty or forty minutes late for work, and the recording session had already started.

Steve Levine, circa 2003.📸Piers Allardyce

I was supposed to have been at the studio early to assist the more-than-competent producer/engineer, Steve Levine, set up for recording a Japanese Whisky (I think, could have been just straightforward Sake) commercial.

But, because I was late, my boss Tony Taverner (below), had stepped in to help Steve. At this point, still hungover, I wasn’t sure who the client was; I just knew the producer was Steve Levine.

However, I instantly recognized the client and the song that was being modified for this Japanese commercial. It was Culture Club, and their hit song, “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me.”

Similarly, the year before, Culture Club music was used for the 1982 Japan-TV ad for Suntori Hot Whiskey. This particular ad featured a rare, edited version of the Culture Club’s “Mystery Boy”:

Now, I had to somehow join the session as seamlessly as possible, without causing any disruption for the client.

My solution was very English: I decided to go to the client lounge, make a huge pot of tea, and take it into the studio control room on a tray full of mugs, milk, sugar and biscuits (aka cookies in U.S.) as nonchalantly as I could.

Tray in hand, I snuck through the studio control room door.

As casually as I could, trying my hardest just to blend in, I stooped to put the tray down on a low table next to the sofa at the back of the control room.

Suddenly the music stopped. Total silence.

I looked up.

My boss, Tony, was looking at me very disapprovingly. Steve Levine was also looking at me, and he was not pleased.

Everybody else in the room was looking at me, in particular Boy George, staring, mouth all pouty, totally dressed up to the nines, with the hat, the hairband, the long hair, the plaits, the colourful top, baggy trousers, etc etc.

I gave it my best shot, tried to gloss over my very late entrance, and confidently addressed everybody in the room with my question: “Anybody want a cup of tea?”

To which Boy George, like lightning, very loudly responded, “Only if you stir it with your dick!” And burst into fits of giggly laughter, along with everyone else (just not so giggly)…

I wasn’t happy.

Cheeky big-pouty-mouthed fucker! Anyway, already, less than a minute into the session, through the haze of my hangover, I saw red, and seriously contemplated decking the client, which probably would not be the most professional of responses.

So, I bit my lip instead, and laughed it off. But, lesson learned! Don’t be late!

However, just imagine that situation happening today, in 2024… Basically, I don’t think it could! Not without litigation over sexual harassment in the workplace!

Back then, in 1983….it was just another day at the office.

Keepin’ it reel, tomorrow will be another!