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Slogan Slug-Out: As the Astros "Level Up," We Look at All the Other 2022 MLB Team Slogans
Did the Yanks finally adopt "Whadda YOU Lookin' At?", and are the Dodgers still reminding fans where they live? From all around the Bigs, we slice & dice.
The Houston Astros want their fans to “Level Up,” which means we all may have to get construction or surveying jobs to fully understand what they want us to do. “Level Up,” to me, anyway, doesn’t exactly scream, “Go Astros!” We did some recent excavating in Champ City:
But, what are the other MLB teams doing with their PR departments, and what have they been doing with their extra three months of labor lockout they were gifted? If they have a team slogan at all, are they being successful in only befuddling fans, or are any of these wonky word-works actually inspiring anybody?
The jury may still be out, but we’re calling them back in.
Related: Astros Unveil 2023 Team Slogan:
What Hath the Other Teams Wrought?
Because it’s fun to take a pin (and, in some cases, a honed harpoon) and poke a bit at the self-important balloons of corporate image-shaping, let’s take a tour of the teams in both leagues to see what those hard-working, vainglorious chin-strokers in their paneled conference rooms have come up with.
The West of the Story
No other team in the AL West has a team slogan, except the Seattle Mariners. We’ll overlook the Texas Rangers’ ill-proposed, “You Gotta Be Kidding,” and focus on the M’s homophonic #SeaUsRise. Yes, they insist on the hashtag, but why not go all in?
Inasmuch as their owners are former bakers, what’s to stop them from embracing the admittedly half-baked #SeaUsRyes? Besides, trouble appears to lurk on the horizon, anyway, with #SeaUsRise: It anagrammatizes out to Ear Issues. I’m sorry………what?
Over in the National League, the West is almost as desolate as their AL counterparts. The Los Angeles Dodgers are bereft of slogan, but it’s probably just as well. A couple years ago, they dared challenge the Southland’s collective intelligence, going with the geographically-obvious “It’s an L.A. Thing.” Fans were spotted at some games holding defiant slogans in response: “No Duh.”
It’s uncertain whether a more geographically-specific attempt may have fared any better, however. Locals might have actually appreciated a more GPS-friendly, “It’s a Chavez Ravine Thing,” or even, “It’s a 34.0739° N, 118.2400° W Thing.” Sadly, we’ll never know.
Is This a Polish Joke? Padres to Enlist Fans
The San Diego Padres sartorially insisted a couple years ago that “Brown Is Back,” but this year, it came this close to morphing into “Brown is Scuffed.” Nevertheless, the Pads (forced to endure the loss of star shortstop, Fernando Tatis, Jr. for a few months to injury) have stumbled onto a way to keep players’ cleats clean and employ cheap fan labor: With the slogan, “Time To Shine,” fans will be given a chamois and can of polish at the gate.
AL East: Table For One
Only one team (Tampa Bay) even bothered to try this year, and even they’re re-cycling a two-year-old moldy oldie: The lazy “Rays Up.” A close second must’ve been the yawn-inducing “C’mon Y’all.”
The Atlanta Braves are going with a familiar-sounding “For The A” banner for the year. Some may be surprised this alphabetically unoriginal team didn’t go for the tri-letter abbreviation, “ATL,” but the NBA Hawks have had that covered the last few years.
Staying in the NL East, the Miami Marlins were color-forward a couple years ago, with the bilingual, “Our Colores.” This year, they want fans to not only “Make it Loud,” but “Bring Your Passion.” Not so much a team hype slogan, apparently, as a ticket package sales push. Some teams just aren’t on board!
The Washington Nationals, reigning world champs when they first unleashed this slogan, have kept it in mothballs for two years, and are proudly riding it for ‘22: “Natitude.”
Before we leave the East, the Mets are noticeably without a team slogan, but the Phillies have picked up the slack, with their directive to “Ring the Bell.” What, no “please”?
In the National League Central Division, the Chicago Cubs celebrate speech impediments with their #CubTogether effort. Apparently, Sandy from sales popped her head into the PR collab one day, and likely inspired by the old “Chubby Bunny” camp game from her youth, had her mouth filled with marshmallows. “Come Together!” she bellowed. Well, that’s what she was trying to say! That’s so Sandy!
Cincinnati’s brain trust felt compelled, for some reason, to rip a page from the Dodgers’ Thomas Guide, and assume Reds fans have no idea where they are, screaming proudly, “This is Reds Country!” Technically, it’s really no country at all. Some help.
In Milwaukee, The Brew Crew comes in with “This is My Crew,” a rallying cry that could have taken a horrible turn had cooler, well-groomed heads not prevailed. Rumors persist that a new recruit on the PR team came in one day with a crew cut. Well, words were exchanged, and a little edit was made to free Brewers fans from a future “Bad Haircut Day” promotion.
The Pittsburgh Pirates landed on “Let’s Go Bucs.” Hiring that middle school cheerleader as staff intern is apparently paying dividends.
The St. Louis Cardinals spared no expense (and clearly no shame) in joining the Bucs in the cheerleader/intern hiring effort. While initially submitting, “Rah!” as the slogan, team officials passed on the whole idea entirely. 2022’s first victory.
Ironically, two years ago, the Cleveland Indians insisted fans “Rally Together.” Rally they may, but it’ll have to be around a team re-dubbed the Cleveland Guardians, a name-change that reportedly divided fans. Apparently ruled out was, “Mill Around Aimlessly.”
While not necessarily a slogan, the “New C, Same City” phrase has seen its way onto official tweets and press releases. With a nod to classic TV, why not “I Love New C”?
The Chicago White Sox have seen fit to “Change the Game,” for some reason. And, just when it seems they’d finally gotten this whole baseball thing down. Actually, that phrase, while serving as a slogan at the turn of the decade, is now just a tag onto their ticket sales promotions.
The Kansas City Royals, meanwhile, insisting they were “Always Royal” a couple years ago, now are sans slogan. Maybe they were “Always Royal” until they weren’t. And, the Minnesota Twins (both of them) are slogan-less.
If one didn’t know better, one might think the team in Detroit dropped “Tigers” as their name. Maybe the zoo community thought it offensive, because at the top of their website, it simply says “Detroit Roots.”
Unless Questlove and the rest of his Tonight Show band (decidedly Philadelphia-born) signed a contract to play during seventh-inning stretches. We’re looking into it.
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